Just when I thought he couldn't get any better...

Young SurferCam

Mum always said I was a devil of a kid....

Where I'd rather be Today...

After a long weekend of annihilating myself at Indy, it's still a struggle at work.
Where I’d rather be today :
- Surfing
- Snow Skiing
- Driving a 911 Porsche
- Sailing a yacht in Sydney Harbour
- Laying on a beach in Fiji
- In Bed
- Anywhere but work
- Back at Indy....

Absent : Annual Indy Leave

Funny

I don't care if she does have wonky boobs...

I’m moving to North Korea !

Last night, 60 Minutes did a report on an American soldier that went AWOL and defected to North Korean 40 years ago.
He ended up being assigned a ‘wife’ and they were to have sex 2 times a month.
Well, that’s twice as much as I get at present, so I’m off to North Korea!

너를 늦게 보십시요
("see ya later!" in Korean)

In the Lift #3

Oh shit!
The doors open up and there in the lift is my old boss from when I was at Uni.
‘That fucking slut,’ I thought to myself.
She had fired me from a retail shop here on the Gold Coast for “not making sales”. How could I help it if the product we were trying to flog was FUCKING SHIT!
And when she did fire me, so also accused me of lying on my resume, saying that I had never worked in a shop in the US.
All lies. I spent 6 months working for The Gap in America (massive US and UK clothing company), and as a result got thrown out of the US for doing so. (long story, had working visa, sort of but not really…) She could have called the US Department of Immigration to verify my story.
SLUT! SLUT! FUCKING SLUT!
Oh yeah, but she has had a boob job since. They’re big and they are nice, very niiiice.
But she’s still a FUCKING SLUT!

This can only give me hope…

If the hot hot HOT chick from Lost, is going out with the short furry ugly hobbit guy from Lost / Lord of the Rings, well then there is hope for me yet!

I am 54% Bogan

Are you a bogan?
Someone just sent me this on a spreadsheet and according to my answers, I am 54% Bogan! And damn proud of it!

1. Would you walk down the shop in PJs and moccasins? N
2. Have you ever bought anything at the Salvo Shop? N
3. Would you eat your fish and chips with your fingers? N
4. Do you regularly drink Jim Beam or Bundy? N
5. Do you only use low cost airlines? Y
6. Would you shop in cheap as chips? N
7. Have you ever used an outside toilet? Y
8. Have you ever owned a datsun, an old monaro or XF ford? N
9. Do you have beer after your meal? Y
10. Do you play darts? N
11. Do you ever eat your meal on your lap in front of the TV? Y
12. Have you or your partner ever worn a black bra under a white shirt? N
13. Have you ever owned a Adidas trackpants? Y
14. Have you ever stood in your front garden and drank a can of beer? Y
15. Would you swig out of a bottle? Y
16. Ever you ever lived in a council house? N
17. Do you cut the paper up when you've run out of loo roll? N
18. Do you have a pair of good going out thongs that you wear down the pub? Y
19. Would you leave the house without having a wash? Y
20. Have you ever had a mullet, rats tail or a perm? Y
21. Do you read picture magazine? N
22. Have you ever bought a watch worth more than $200? N
23. Do you have take-away more than 3 times per week? Y
24. Is the majority of your shopping convenience food? N
25. Have you ever owned a shopping trolley? N
26. Do you know a Wayne or Tracy? Y
27. Have you ever been to the theatre? Y
28. Would you consider naming one of your children Shaniqa or Dwayne? N
29. Ever you ever spent more than $6 on a bottle of wine? Y
30. Do you wear runners other than for working out? Y

Random Blogs

In my quest to spread the gospel of SurferCam and to seek out new and interesting Blogs, I often click on NEXT BLOG.
So far, in the hundreds I have searched, I think 1 or 2 might have been interesting.
But I do seem to come across the religous ones (which I have bitched about here previously (see Thank the Lord).
But today my bitch is about all those fatties out there and their day by day account of how they are losing weight.
One guy in particular keeps a record of what he eats everyday, and it goes a little something like this:
Diet Coke
Diet Pepsi
Fruit Bar
Museli Bar
Mars Bar Lite
etc etc

Hey Buddy, if you're trying to lose weight, don't drink diet coke or diet pepsi - just because it has the word 'diet' in front of it doesn't mean you're going to lose weight - Drink Water!
And instead of eating fruit bars, eat actual fruit.

Just to piss this guy off, I'm going to force some Macca's down at lunch with a slice of Pizza for dessert and a big fat Coke.

I have drunk beer from:

- a bottle
- a can
- a keg
- a mini keg
- a Darwin Stubbie
- a glass
- a yard glass
- a shot glass
- a wine glass
- a champagne glass
- a pewter mug
- a ceramic mug
- a stein
- a plastic cup
- a beer bong
- a mate’s sneaker
- a random woman’s stilettos
- and my own hands

… and they all tasted great!

Things I hate about youse

- Smokers – thankfully they are going the way of the dodo.
- Saab Drivers – they make Volvo Drivers look like Michael Schumacher.
- People who drop-in while surfing – you know who you are.
- “Sheep” – kilometres of empty surf breakd, and there is always some "sheep" who will come and sit right next to you.
- Thuck Kiwi accents.
- Shithouse coffee – it’s not that fucking difficult, especially in you work in a café.
- Commercial Radio – if you want to know what’s going to be playing on commercial radio in a few months, listen to JJJ or underground stations today.
- Tax Department.
- The introduction of GST.
- Exams - haven't had to do one in years and hopefully never will again.
- Mondays

The Female Bellybutton

Is it just me, or are bellybuttons on women creeping higher and higher?
I remember a time when the bellybutton sat just above the bikini bottoms.
These days its half way to the boobs.
Where will it end? The cleavage?

Oh, by the way, I'm not complaining – just an observation…

I think I'm in Love...

... this girl's got everything!!!

10 Things I can’t live without

(Besides things we must have like air, sunlight, eyesight, hearing & health etc..)

- My Pet Monkey
- Alcohol
- Tabasco
- Boobs
- Surfing
- Other sports such as Cricket, Cycling, Rugby Union & AFL
- Sport on TV – Le Tour de France, Rugby Union, AFL, & Cricket
- Love / Sex / Porn – if you’re a bloke, they are all exactly the same...
- Flat Whites
- Email / Internet

Finally!

I finally did it.
After years of trying, hundreds of dollars, countless anxious moments, sweaty palms, and numerous attempts at various places all over Australia, one of the crowning glories in my life happened to me on Saturday.
I finally won a Meat Tray raffle.