A favourite pastime

Wherever I have worked around the world, I’ve always played this game of giving people I don’t know, a nickname.
I’m not sure why, call me an observationist (if that is a word), call me a bitch, call me what you like, but I think it’s fun.

Here are some of the people that work in my building :

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World - I call her that because she thinks she is, but she certainly isn’t – she’d be lucky to be a 5 out of 10. And smoking a pack or two a day is not sexy either.

Mimi – remember Mimi from The Drew Carey Show, well this girl is the spitting image of her, with a little less makeup. Every time I get in the lift with her, I have to stop myself from pissing my pants laughing at her.

Madonna Man – previously mentioned on this blog, this guy has a chain around his neck with the word Madonna on it, a thing hanging off his mobile with a picture of Madonna on it and, best of all, the word Madonna tattooed on his arm and a picture of her tattooed above it. And guess what – from what I can tell, he’s not even gay!

Barbie – this girl looks like an actual living, walking, talking Barbie doll. The resemblance is uncanny – she is quite tall, thin, blonde and her face is a perfect match for a Barbie doll. She truly is amazing and a bit freaky at the same time.

The Most Annoying Person in the World – unfortunately I have been in the lift with this woman a few times and I have to do everything in my willpower not to stab her to death with my mobile phone. She mid-40’s, dresses like she is on acid or colour blind or both, and has to know everyone’s business.

Hairy-Grub Eyebrows – you know those hairy grubs you see in your garden, well there’s a woman in this building who has two black bushy hairy grubs permanently mating on her forehead. They standout even more because she is blonde, and they are black. She freaks me out – well, the 'grubs' do.

The Rocker – Mid-50’s bloke, dresses and acts like he’s just got off stage. I have to stop myself from shouting “Where’s the rest of the band?”

INXS – there’s a guy here that looks exactly like the saxa-mo-phone player from INXS. I want to ask him to play the solo from “Never tear us apart”.

Big Head – She’s actually quite attractive, dresses really nicely and has massive boobs, but her head is gigantic! You see her and have to stop yourself from going “Whoah! I’m not getting in the lift with that!”

Grandpa Munster – except she’s female, but she has the exact same lips and nose as Grandpa Munster. Maybe she’s his long lost granddaughter…

And then there are the people that work for a government that’s in the building, where the following is acceptable at their work – dreadlocks, wearing boardshorts, wearing t-shirts, pierced-lips, pierced eye-brows etc etc.
I wish I could get a job there….