Very VERY Disappointing News

I heard some very disappointing news on TV this morning.

Celine Dion nearly gave up her singing career.

Add it up!

In my building, on several floors, is Centrelink (for all those playing at home outside Austral-ya, it’s a government agency for welfare, unemployment and social security payments etc).

I have posted before about some of these weirdos – I’m talking about the people that work there, not the people that need help.

In recent weeks I have found another strange thing.

Most of the people that work there carry around an access card to enter the offices – fair enough. But also included in the little clear pouch attached to their belts, are calculators.

And this is not a one-off occurrence – I think nearly all of them carry these calculators.

So the question is – WHAT THE FUCK FOR?

Do they walk around the office and have their calculators ready just in case of a mathematical emergency? Are they that desperate or stupid that they must carry a calculator on them at all times? I can't work it out.

I would however like to run up to one of them one day screaming –

“Quick! What’s the square root of 1,352,122? Quick! Quick! Quick! I need the answer now god damn it! Fucking hurry up!”

WTF!

Anon pointed out this comment in one of my recent posts.
If you ever complain about getting spam comments on your blog, you may think again after trying to decipher this gibberish...



Click here and scroll down to the comment from Anonymous.

Then scroll down to see how long the comment is!


Bizarre!

Sorry........

New Employees

There is nothing better than turning up to work on a Monday to find that some new employees have been hired to assist you around the office.

I’m sure they will fit in very nicely…

Friday Funny

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!'

'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.

'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blow jobs for her!

She bought the frog.

When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely sceptical and laughed it off! .

The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this Less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.

The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook.......you're gone.'

I know it's early in the year....

.... but I've found what I want for Christmas...

All the best Mate.

Last Friday was the 9^th anniversary of the death of a mate of mine.

While I was bitching about what a shit week I’d had at work, I should have been reflecting on how lucky I really am.

Nathan and I went to school together for just one year in 1992 - our final year at school - and then rarely saw each other until early in 1999.

Although we didn’t hang out together that much at school, I knew he was a fantastic guy who was loved by everyone and there’s no one that would have ever said a bad word about him. He was a talented actor, musician and general nice guy.

Around the end of 1998 / start of 1999, he happened to move in with one of my best mates and one weekend we all ended up at a bbq together. It had been a long time since I’d seen him and it was great to catch up.

By sheer coincidence, I was at Byron Bay the next weekend and ran into him again. None of my mates or his wanted to go for a surf, so he and I did. We had a great surf together and enjoyed each others company a lot. It was bizarre – I had barely seen Nath in the past 7 years, and now I had seen him two weekends in a row.

A few days later he died.

He was tragically killed in a car crash coming back from Byron to the Gold Coast.

Alcohol was not a factor and it seems he fell asleep at the wheel on a notorious stretch of highway that has thankfully since been rerouted – too late for Nath, but not too late for others.

I drive to Byron quite a fair bit, and every time I pass near where he was killed, I always think back to those couple of weekends we shared together.

On top of all the usual reasons, I particularly found his passing extremely sad because it had only been a few days between when we were surfing and laughing together, to when I was sitting in the church looking at his coffin.

It was hard to comprehend.

It’s still hard to comprehend.

All the best mate.

This is the longest title I have ever created to go with the shortest post ever posted.

Work Sucks.