Two Queues

On the weekend I was stuck in line for nearly 15 mins at the hardware shop while some idiot paid for some items with cash and some with credit, then argued over a plant that she thought was $2.99 when in fact is was $3.29.

It was about when I was ready to give her 30 cents and tell her to ‘hurry the fuck up’, that I came up with this idea - there should be Two Queues everywhere you go.

There should be a queue for those who know exactly what they want and are not going to be difficult. Let’s call it Q1.

And then there should be a queue for all the idiots in the world, those who have no idea and those that want to cause trouble. And we’ll call this Q2.

Here are just some examples – I’m sure you can add to this list…

Bar / Nightclub

Beer, or anything “and coke” = Q1

Everything else = Q2

Café

Flat white, Latte, Espresso or Cappuccino = Q1

Anything that starts with or contains “Mocha”, “Soy”, “Frappe” or “Skinny” = Q2

Takeaway

If you are by yourself or ordering something simple like a Burger or a meal deal = Q1

If you have more than 1 kid with you = Q2

The person at the rugby union the other night, who after standing in the queue for over 5 mins, started deciding what she wanted, only when she got to the front of the queue = Q2.