In the Lift #5
There is a guy in my building who is a complete knob.
Yes knob. That is the word that best describes him.
He drives a 20 year old Toyota MR2 sports car – which means its not modern and its certainly not a classic, but he thinks he is fucking cool in it. If the car was an animal, it would have been put down by now.
But it gets much worse.
He thinks he’s God’s gift to everything.
He gets out of his piece of shit car in the basement, with his sunglasses on (hello! We are 4 levels below ground, hence no sun…) and not only does he have his business shirt untucked, but he has all the buttons undone. Yep all of them. Shirt open, chest and stomach exposed.
And he actually rides in the lift with his shirt undone, and sunnies on, all the way to one of the top floors. It doesn’t faze him when people are getting in or out of the lift, he just stands there trying to look cool – sunnies on, stomach out.
And yes he’s got a flat stomach, but if you’re built like an anorexic coat-hanger, you’d have a flat stomach too.
One day when I am extra hungover and hating the world, I will turn to Knobhead and tell him to "PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON!"
I think maybe he is hoping that one of the hotties in our building will say to him “oh I love you’re dicky sports car, you're Servo sunnies and your skinny scrawny body - let’s fuck”.
Ain’t gonna happen Knobbo.
posted by surfercam @ 9:57 am
4 Comments:
Have you ever watched Prison Break? What is with the brother with his shirt unbuttoned all the time as well. Is this a new boy thing that I don't know about, like putting soap in your hair, or sticking up your collars?
I don't know what goes through those guys' heads. We are so not thinking we want to sleep with them. And sunglasses indoors? So lame. Yuk.
K-Rab - I'm not sure but I am not joining that fad.
Julia - you're dead right there.
haaaaaaaahahha I can picture him exactly from your words.
Maybe try; dude, you know those girls in 5b? They asked me if you were gay because of the flamboyant nature of your t-shirts and stuff.
I told them I wasnt sure, so you might want to consider that, next time you leave your house looking like a complete twatbag.
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