Making the average day more interesting... That's me below in the green, snogging the Pig. We've all snogged a few pigs in our lives.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Adios Amigos!

On Monday, I am going on holidays.

This will be the first time off since Christmas 2006.

For 10 days I will be doing the following :
- Sitting on the beach drinking beers
- Lounging by the lagoon-pool drinking cocktails and beers
- Gorging myself stupid on food
- Surfing
- Sleeping
- Reading books
- Watching movies
- Snorkeling
- Sun-baking
- Not speaking to people on the phone
- Not blogging
- Not working
- Not emailing
- Not faxing
- Not dealing with people

Any guesses where I am going…?

Thursday, August 16, 2007


I don’t normally post links on my blog, but this is fascinating.

Days of entertainment for me!!!!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

One of my favourite conundrums…

Why don’t spiders stick to their own webs?

Any Ideas?

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Happy Blogday to Me!

Tomorrow is this Blog’s 1st Birthday.

After 224 posts (this is 225), it’s still going.

But instead of celebrating me, I am going to celebrate you!

Here is a list of all the blogs I visit daily, and my comments about them:

A Dying Star – Rach is absolutely hilarious and insane, and has never once responded to any of my comments or probably ever visited this site.

Brisbane Window – Russ is the reason I have a blog. He inspired me, so blame him. Rusty’s view on the world is fantastic.

Smack Dab in the Middle – Miss Smack has the mind of sex-crazed banshee, and that’s why I love her.

Anywhere But Here – Wanderlust is as nutty as she is beautiful.

Australia is Fun Too – Nat’s posts are great… when she posts…

Cablog – I can’t wait till the day I get to chat to Adrian in his cab. One of my fave blogs.

Can You Fly Like You Mean it - Ro’s musically-inspired posts are great… when she posts…

I Don’t Do Mornings - Cazzie is a very dedicated commentator and love her for it. Very informative too, thanks for the history lessons.

I Said You Look Like a Frog – Original Mel is a crack up. I would love to follow her around for a month just to watch all the shit that happens to her.

Huniii – Dearly departed Huniii was very funny, very sexual and is very sadly missed by me and many others.

Initiales JB – Julia is cultured, sexy, gorgeous, helpful, inspirational and above all loves Radiohead like me. All the best for your big adventure overseas.
(I wish she would cook one of her beautiful dishes for me before she goes.)

KillerRabbit – Funny site with some crazy posts. Where do those ideas come from?

Much ado about Sumthin! – Steph is the craziest, wittiest and funniest person I have ever come across. I would love to become her roommate just so I could witness her disastrous and often drunken escapades first hand. Please don’t ever retire from blogging!

Pash or Ram – Mex and SC got off to a bad start as something was taken out of context and I got abused. Some haven’t gotten over that – you know who you are Mars. Great site! Keep up the antics.

Fallen Scorpion – Scorp and I share similarities such as being in Queensland, having daughter(s) and beer. Always a top read.

Thursday’s Child – For a Canadian, she is pretty good. I just like her profile pic – beer and cleavage – what else does a guy need?

Today’s Apathetic Youth – Gam and Sar have a great political / Howard-bashing site. Over the past year, we have agreed on maybe 2 things. Great blog!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall – I thought Nat was a conservative lady, until she posted about almost going home with TWO U.S. Navy guys. In the property game like me, so she must be great.

Delightful Jen – Jen’s posts are by far the longest – I usually read and comment on the first 1 or 2 sentences! Keep on typing Jen!

My Magic Bellybutton – Another fellow Queenslander, Magic posts some of the funniest pics ever. I ignore her political posts though.

Shooting from the Hip – Neily the ex-pat Aussie / American is new on the scene and storming up the charts. Keep at it mate.

Not Another Relationship Blog – Miss a day and you’ll be thrown into chaos as it is hard to keep up with Eileen Dover.

The Antilogy - I have always liked the pics Luce posts of herself when she is still at work late at night.

Fresh Air Lover – Deb is not afraid to tell you everything! And I like that.

The Exception – Great blog, great gal.

Max’s Blog About – also new on the scene and bloody hilarious!

The Whine Guide – I like Fingers’ blog a lot and it’s great to see him back blogging more frequently and telling people off.

Ribbed For Your Pleasure – after threatening to leave the Blog World for good, Mountjoy is back better than ever!

Enny-Pen – Have just started reading her blog and enjoying most moments (except for the pig pictures).

Teh Interweb – Where she gets her photos from I will never know and her comments are priceless!

The Ambiguous Blob – also new on the scene and a dedicated commenter.

If you want to check out any of these sites, most of them are listed on the left hand side of this under the Cool Kids Up the Back of the Bus.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I Miss America

For those of you who don’t know, I moved to the US, Dallas Texas to be precise, straight after finishing high school in Oz.

I was there for 2 years and absolutely loved it. I spent most of the time playing rugby, studying, eating, drinking and chasing girls, until I was eventually asked to leave the country....

It is my home-away-from-home and I love going back (yes, I am allowed back in now).

Things I miss :
- The food – best food in the world and lots of it!
- The weather – really hot in summer, quite cold in winter.
- Playing rugby. - Because I was about the only one who could actually play, so I looked like a champion! (even though I am quite average)
- Mates – I made some great friends that I still keep in contact with daily, even though I left over 12 years ago and have barely been back since.
- The People – The whole time I was there, and every time I go back, I feel like I am in a Five-Star country. The people are nice and the service is always great.
- The Service – whether you are in Tiffany & Co or The Gap, or TGI Fridays or some exclusive restaurant, the service is almost always outstanding. You don’t find that very often here in Australia.
- The Girls - Very nice, loved my accent, but were disappointed when I informed them that "no I did not have a pet Koala" and "no I did not have a pet Kangaroo either"...
- Sport – there is live sport on TV nearly every day and or night of the year!

Things I DON’T miss :
- The food – if I still lived there, I’d be over 150kgs instead of about 75kgs (ok, maybe 80kgs).
- Dodgy Areas – unlike Australia, there were some areas that did make you feel a bit uneasy, even though nothing ever happened. A few guys did threaten to pull guns on us one night, but that was after we gave them shit - so I guess we sort of asked for it...

Monday, August 06, 2007

What I learnt on the weekend.

Saturday night was a fancy dress party for a very good friend’s 30th Birthday.
It was at a restaurant, then a bar / pub, then a nightclub in Surfers.
I went dressed as a nerd.
And this is what I learnt :

- Going out without the Pink Mafia (partner) will ensure that you drink way too many drinks.
- I am not 18 or even 21 or even in my 20’s. Therefore, after a big night, you will suffer for at least the next 48 hours.
- Being dressed as a nerd in a busy trendy nightclub, will earn you lots of attention.
- Being dressed as a nerd in a busy trendy nightclub, will NOT help you with the ladies.
- You never have any troubles with the Bouncers, because they are too busy laughing at your outfit.
- Running into business associates and relatives while dressed as a nerd is not a good look.
- At 3am, when you suddenly realise that you have lost the Pink Mafia’s very expensive Gucci reading glasses (part of nerd outfit), you will become instantly sober.
- After having a heart attack because of lost glasses, a strange girl will come up to you, ask “Are you looking for these?” reach into her cleavage and proceed to pull pair of Gucci glasses out of her bra.
- You hug said girl and thank her profusely for returning them, but also wondering how they ended up in there in the first place…
- You offer her a drink to say thanks but she declines and disappears into the night.
- You check your wallet and have not a cent and are then glad she refused a drink.
- Elated but now very sober, you realise that it’s definitely time to go home.
- You wish that you had taken up that offer of a lift home from one of your friends, but instead you decided that you needed ‘just one more drink’.
- Exiting the nightclub, you see the cab rank is 100 metres long and not moving.
- Now you REALLY wish you had taken up that offer of a lift.
- After saying “fuck that” to the cab rank, you start walking towards home and out of sheer luck you hail a cab 1 block into a 20km trip back home.
- You almost kiss the cabbie because you are so stoked not to have had to wait for over an hour in the cab rank.
- Upon getting home at 4am, the Pink Mafia has locked the house and not wanting to wake the Monkey, decide to sleep the night in the Monkey’s cubby house.
- The carpet it in the Cubby house is no substitute for a bed.
- Your pet Labrador is no substitute for a blanket, and even though he was very warm, his snoring and bad breath was not that comforting.
- After an hour of drunken sleep, you wake at 5am and have the shits and try and break into the house.
- The Pink Mafia finally wakes, lets you in and comments that I can’t believe you’re only getting home now at 5am.
- You pass out in the Man-Cave (spare bedroom) and hope that the world ends between now and sun-up.
- It doesn’t, and Sunday is the longest day of your life.

I’m never going out again…..

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Conversations with Famous People

The following are my Top 3 Crap Conversations with Famous People :

Anthony La Paglia (Actor) – a few weeks ago, in Byron, Anthony was a few seats away from us. As he walked past, he dropped his keys :

SurferCam : Mate, you dropped your keys.
ALP : “ ”

Pat Rafter (Tennis Legend) – A few years back in Noosa, walking through the National Park, Pat Rafter came jogging towards us :
SurferCam : Hey Patty!
PR : Hey!

Robbie McEwen (Tour de France legend) – At my local café a few months ago and had my Labrador tied up to the bike rack. Robbie tried to park his bicycle that’s probably worth about $20,000 but my dog was in the way :

SurferCam : Here let me move my dog.
RM : He’s alright.
SC : No, he’ll try and eat your bike.
RM : Oh. Ok.

Other close-up sightings but no conversations :
Alice Cooper - shopping in a mall in Dallas (Texas, USA)
Claudia Schiffer – in a shop in London – I actually brushed past her!
Barry Humphries – sitting opposite me waiting for a table in a London Japanese restaurant.
Hugh Jackman – The Rocks (Sydney)
Paris Hilton – a Bar in Broadbeach (Gold Coast)
Paris Hilton – walking out of hotel in Sydney as I was walking in – I abused her and her bodyguards for getting in MY way!
Neil Finn – Backstage at Crowded House / Split Enz concert in 1990
George Gregan – at Gusto’s (5-ways, Sydney)
John Eales – at lunch in my old office building (Chifley Tower, Sydney)
Stephen Kernahan – walked past me in Melbourne

Let's hear yours!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why have sex?

Today’s Sydney Morning Herald states :

“After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations.”

Well I’ve got the top 2 answers – Alcohol & more alcohol