Three Queues

Maybe there should be a third queue - Q3 - for old people.

But then having a third queue just confuse those ‘special people’ in Q2...

So I think we need to introduce an usher to guide those people into Q2 and Q3.

All the usher needs to do is ask “Do you know what you want?” and if the person stumbles, queries or has to think for more than 5 seconds, then they are ushered into Q2 and Q3.

Two Queues

On the weekend I was stuck in line for nearly 15 mins at the hardware shop while some idiot paid for some items with cash and some with credit, then argued over a plant that she thought was $2.99 when in fact is was $3.29.

It was about when I was ready to give her 30 cents and tell her to ‘hurry the fuck up’, that I came up with this idea - there should be Two Queues everywhere you go.

There should be a queue for those who know exactly what they want and are not going to be difficult. Let’s call it Q1.

And then there should be a queue for all the idiots in the world, those who have no idea and those that want to cause trouble. And we’ll call this Q2.

Here are just some examples – I’m sure you can add to this list…

Bar / Nightclub

Beer, or anything “and coke” = Q1

Everything else = Q2

Café

Flat white, Latte, Espresso or Cappuccino = Q1

Anything that starts with or contains “Mocha”, “Soy”, “Frappe” or “Skinny” = Q2

Takeaway

If you are by yourself or ordering something simple like a Burger or a meal deal = Q1

If you have more than 1 kid with you = Q2

The person at the rugby union the other night, who after standing in the queue for over 5 mins, started deciding what she wanted, only when she got to the front of the queue = Q2.

Monday Funny

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too,' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'I would have been released today.'

On order

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

It is much more beautiful than any half-, semi- or completely naked woman that has ever appeared on this site.

I want one.

Only in ........ Australia

"A Northern Territory driver has been fined by police after he strapped a seatbelt around a carton (case) of beer but left a five-year-old child to sit on the floor of his car.

Four adults occupied the car with two in the front and two in the rear seats.

The carton of beer was buckled safely in the rear centre seat between two of the adults, while the five-year-old boy crouched on the floor."

At least he had his priorities right.....

WARNING : Boring Post Ahead...

Apologies for not posting of late – I’m sure all 3 of you have missed my daily ramblings…. Ok maybe not.

Work has been chaotic and stressful to the point where it is pretty much all I can think about.

Apart from work, all I seem to do is eat, sleep and drink.

Therefore nothing interesting to post about, unless you want to know what I ate for breakfast this morning, or how many beers I had last night.

SurferCam will be back soon…. I hope….

My New T-Shirt

I won Lotto!

On Tuesday night, there was a $40 million Lotto draw.

I had a ticket in it and came up with 5 winning numbers!

Yes 5 numbers!

OH
MY
GOD

I’m going to be rolling in it!

Thousands!

Hundreds of Thousands!

I can retire!

No, I won $40.35….