Bye-Bye

“Starbucks cites problems at home and an under-estimation of local coffee culture for closures.”

Yeah, the local Australian coffee culture likes good coffee, not that watered-down, extra-milky crap that you take 10 minutes to make.

Now every other coffee shop owner in Australia will be rubbing their hands together.

Shame so many people are going to loose their jobs.

Apparently...

Apparently if I was the greatest soccer player in the world, and was earning $300,000 per week, I too could have one of these…

Shame I hate soccer..

Post No. 350 !!!!

Wow 350 posts of crap, nudity, jokes, randomness, stories, views, opinions and absolute drivel.

And over 14,000 hits.

Not bad for a site that sells nothing, gives no advice, provides readers with no valuable information and won’t change or save the world.

Thanks to everyone who has contributed over the past 2 years.

And thanks to those who secretly read this blog, but never comment – I know you’re out there…

Something happened!

Nothing interesting has happened to me over the past few months, that’s why there has been nothing to write about, hence how crap this blog has been.

But that changed on Saturday night.

My sister and her husband are back from London for a few weeks and Saturday night we threw her a surprise 30^th birthday party.

Feeling fluey and wanting a quiet night, my intentions were good to have a few beers and head home early.

The night also coincided with the Wallabies (Australian Rugby Union team) playing, and thumping! our arch rivals the All Blacks of New Zulland!

One thing led to another, and when one thing leads to another, trouble is normally just around the corner.

After telling the pink mafia that I would be home straight after the rugby, say 10pm, do you think I was surprised when I returned home at 3am to find the front door locked, the spare keys missing, 15 missed calls on my mobile phone, and the dog inside while I was outside?

Umm, no not really.

Isn’t the first time, but I hope it is the last time. I hope I have finally learnt my lesson.

Dying...

It’s come to my attention that this blog is seriously dying in the arse.

Other bloggers have cut me from their recommended blog lists and many have just stopped commenting.

Actually, I’m surprised anyone has ever commented and did so for so long – I should be happy!

But I’m not.

Anyway I’ll power on over the next few weeks and try to come up with some interesting posts - even if it is just nude pictures, hey Scorp! Scorp? Are you there?

And if I can’t get my shit together, it will be time to move on and say goodbye to you all.

Cheers. Have a good weekend. Now, where's that bottle of tequila....

Business Ideas

Anybody out there in BlogLand got any good ideas for an internet business?

I’m over what I’m doing and want to get into some sort of internet-related business.

Let me know your thoughts.

ps. And don’t say anything about Porn either – I’m sure it’s all been done in that industry…

Back to Blogging...

Right. I'm back.

Where was I…

Time to get back into the real (blog) world.

And what better way to start, than with a kiwi joke…

50,000 Kiwis meet in Eden Park for a "Kiwis Are Not Stupid" Convention. NZ Prime Minister Helen Clark says, "We are all here today to prove to the world thet Kiwis are not stupid. Ken I hev a volunteer."

Former All Blacks player Carlos Spencer gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. Helen asks him, "What uz fufteen plus fufteen?"

After fifteen or 20 seconds Carlos says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 50,000 Kiwis start chanting, "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen says, "Well sunce we've gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of you un one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast media here, I thunk we ken guv hum another chance."

So she asks, "What uz sivven plus sivven?"

After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety!"

Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh - everyone is disheartened. Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance...What uz two plus two?"

Carlos closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four!"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000 Kiwis jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream...

"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Italy Post No.2

Best Meal – Florence – veal with whole-grain mustard sauce and asparagus. Every single mouthful was followed by “oohhh” and “ahhh”. The meal that night was over $170 for 2 adults and 1 monkey, but well worth it.

Best Surprising Meal – Biella – a few hours before my mate’s wedding, a few of us stumbled around the little town looking for a restaurant. My mate walked into what an only be described as ‘someone’s living room’ but was actually a ‘restaurant’. The owner/chef/waiter could speak about as much English as we could Italian. So with no menus and a major communication breakdown, all 5 of us ended up in the kitchen pointing at what we wanted for lunch.

What came out were several different types of outstanding pastas. And cheap – cheaper than any Italian restaurant in Australia and much better. Oh yeah, the hardcore techno-music playing in the background was an added bonus…

Best Beer – Santa Margherita – a one-litre stein of Nastro Azzurro that cost me about A$24…. (and no, I didn’t even get to keep the stein…)

Best Wine – Rome – some Italian chardonnay that the waiter (an Aussie girl from the Hunter Valley) recommended. Was soooo good. And was very impressed when she ‘accidentally’ poured too much into my glass and gave me a big smile to go with it…

Italy - Post No.1

Italy was fantastic. It was everything I thought it would be and more. I have never eaten so much in all my life. If I didn’t walk several hours every day, I would have had to buy an extra seat on the plane for the trip home.

If you care, or if you are thinking of going to Italy, here are the places we stayed at / visited :

Milan – everyone dresses like they have just stepped out of an Armani catalogue. It is amazing. And no matter how much you try and dress up, you never look as good. Probably the most expensive place we went.

Biella – little town at the foothills of the Italian Alps. Great place but was only there for my mate’s wedding (which was unbelievable – every woman’s dream wedding).

Lake Como – I’ve have travelled a fair bit in my life and this is probably the nicest place I’ve ever been. The scenery and the surrounds are so unbelievably perfect that it doesn’t look real. It looks like a movie set and I had to pinch myself every half hour.

Santa Margherita – on the western coast of Italy. Hotel was right on the water. Wasn’t happy about paying Euro14 (A$22) just to use a bloody deck chair at their own hotel where we were paying about $350 per night. Town was very busy but it was our gateway to the Cinque Terre and Portofino – both great spots.

Portofino – nice little village on the coast. Quite famous and quite expensive.

Vernazza – great little village on the Cinque Terre coast. Much better than Portofino.

Lucca – great old walled-city. Very nice, only spent a few hours there.

Tuscany – second best to Lake Como. Once again so amazing it didn’t seem real. Amazing country-side full of vineyards and crops.

Siena – another amazing walled-city. Would like to stay there next time.

San Gimignano – another very old town, bit touristy but worth a look.

Florence – really nice place. Enjoyed this the most out of the big cities.

Rome – very busy, full of tourists, mainly Americans. Was too hot to do anything when we were there – 38 and 39 degrees for 4 days straight. Did see the Colosseum which was truly amazing and we stayed only 50 metres from Trevi Fountain (if you’ve seen one fountain, you’ve seen them all…).

If I did it all again, and if possible, I’d probably do it in a different order. I’d start with all the big cities and all the sight-seeing (Rome, Florence etc) at the start, and then do all the laid back places (Como, Tuscany etc) at the end.

Ciao!

I’m back….

… and not happy about it at all.

If you need me, I’ll be sulking in my bedroom….