surfercam

Making the average day more interesting... That's me below in the green, snogging the Pig. We've all snogged a few pigs in our lives.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Racist

Yep, that’s right, SuferCam is a Racist – a Car Racist that is.

I don’t know about you, but when I am driving there are certain cars I won’t allow to get in front of me, let them merge or be nice to them in any way.

Tarago’s or other "People Movers" – get off the road! If you need to transport that many people, catch the train or a bus. And you never seem to know where you are going….

Cars with interstate number plates – living on the Gold Coast, there are hundreds of them aimlessly driving around trying to find their hotels or some tourist attraction. You are tourists therefore you’re not in a hurry, so you won’t be getting any leeway from me.

Cars with rent-a-car stickers – see above.

Mopeds – and other motor bikes that don’t travel much faster than walking pace, are another plague on our roads – there should be a law which allows us to run them over.

Buses – I don’t like how they can just pull out in front of anyone. However they are a bit bigger than me and I know who will come off second best.

Big Blokes in Little Cars – Fellas, save a few bucks and buy something bigger than a matchbox on shopping trolley wheels. I know some people can’t afford decent cars, but please don’t drive something that even your grandmother thinks is a bit girlie.

Women in Massive 4WD’s – scary! Why not just drive an armoured-tank instead…

And my ultimate hatred – Saabs. People think Volvo Drivers are the worst drivers in the world. But oh no, Saab Drivers are by far the worst.

This is not an exaggeration, but EVERY SINGLE TIME I am behind a Saab, it does something wrong – changes lanes without indicating or looking, nearly crashes, forgets to accelerate when the lights go green, swerves from lane to lane or brakes for absolutely no reason.

On many times I’ve been behind a Saab and said to my passenger, “here we go, watch this” and the next thing the Saab in front will almost veer off the road and crash. My passengers will often ask in shock, “how did you know something was going to happen?” to which I respond, “because it’s a Saab”.
Saab Drivers are a menace to society and should be put down.


On the flip side of all this, are the cars I give way too and allow them to get in front of me -

- Porsche, Audi, Mercedes Benz, Ferrari and any European sports cars - unless the person driving looks like a complete wanker!

- Classic cars - especially old Mercedes Benz's, Jag's or Ferrari's

- Any cars containing good looking women (except if the car was one of those black-listed above)

- Police cars - I'd rather be behind them, than in front...

- Ambulance and Fire Trucks - for obvious reasons.


Disclosure Statement : SurferCam has not, does not and never will own a Saab, not even if it was given to him. And SurferCam does not own a Volvo.


UPDATE : Forgot to add the following cars on the banned list :

- Lexus - sorry Steph, but all a Lexus is, is a Toyota with leather seats. People (i.e. Lexus owners and drivers) think they are a posh and luxury car. But the are not.

- Hyundai Excel - no matter how many exhausts, wings, body kits, tacho's and flashing lights you put on it, it is still an Excel.

- Old Commodores & Falcons - see above re Hyundai Excel.

19 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

What about Nissans?

11:08 am  
Blogger Steph said...

I drive a Lexus for work and everyone tells me it's a "manly" car. No wonder I keep smashing it.

1:02 pm  
Blogger Max said...

I think you should also add blokes on bikes in their matching lycra suits....

If your not in the Tour de France get off the road and out of the way.

3:12 pm  
Blogger Jen said...

My first car accident was when a Saab ran into the back of me, so I might agree with you about Saab drivers.

I'll let anyone in front of me unless they are a guy (or girl) in any sort of Falcon or Commodore that has a body kit and otherwise pimped to look like a race car, I cannot stand it!

3:17 pm  
Blogger Ms Smack said...

hahahahha completely agree with you. I drive a GORGEOUS new Mazda SP 23, 2.3lts, twin cam, 5 spd manual, sedan with bose surround system, leather interior, sports pack and shiny every-fucking-thing. I LOVE MY CAR, and i'm not afraid to say so!

11:25 pm  
Blogger Silver said...

I didn't see motorcycles on either list............no preference?

3:03 am  
Blogger Scorpy said...

I HATE silver cars...ALL silver cars...they blend in with the road!

7:37 am  
Blogger Unknown said...

i would say you're more a male chauvinist than a racist.

9:41 am  
Blogger surfercam said...

Elizabeth - no feelings either way.

Steph - I had to update the post because I forgot about Lexus cars. Please see update.

Max - mmmm as a reformed cyclist I will agree and disagree - some are idiots who think they own the road, some like me, try and stay off it.

DJen - I told you!

Smacky - I like those cars!

Waygon - Welcome! No feelings either way.

Scorpy - You can't say that! Do you drive on silver coloured roads??? (Yes, SC's car is silver...)

Dot - thanks for your pathetic comment and once again contributing FUCK ALL to this blog.
Now go cook me some fucking eggs and then retreat to your cave to do some more man-hating!

10:20 am  
Blogger Mars said...

ooh, he didn't like that one, dot...

dickhead, if you don't like being called a chauvinist... try not behaving like one.

quite a simple fix, really.

then again... i'm thinking your comments are inherent, so who are we to blame you for your blatant stupidity?

10:43 am  
Blogger surfercam said...

Mars - (it's great, all I have to do is cut and paste) thanks for your pathetic comment and once again contributing FUCK ALL to this blog.
Now go cook me some fucking eggs and then retreat to your cave to do some more man-hating!

You two 'ladies' are not the first, and won't be last to call me names...

10:51 am  
Blogger Julia said...

Hahaha dot and mars what a bunch of drop kicks.

PS I drive a Hyundai Elantra and love it. It's a work car and while yes I'd drive something else if I was paying for it, it's a great car and unlike other more expensive makes I've had has never failed me once *touch wood*.

Agree with you on the Lexus.

2:25 pm  
Blogger Julia said...

Dot - no need to comment on my blog either. It's, well, pathetic.

(sorry to use your space SC)

8:30 am  
Blogger surfercam said...

Julia - Yes dropkicks indeed.
I'd drive anything (except those listed) to work if it was paid for.

No need to apologise Julia.

9:20 am  
Blogger Dot said...

'dropkick' is such a grand Australian expression. thank-you.

9:51 am  
Blogger Mars said...

i know i'm embracing it...

7:22 pm  
Blogger surfercam said...

Dot - anytime.
Mars - go for it!

11:19 am  
Blogger The Ambiguous Blob said...

so happy my car isn't banned.

8:57 am  
Blogger surfercam said...

What kind is it?

11:37 am  

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