Father of the Year
For all the times I have not been warranted as a potential Father of the Year candidate, I made up for it all in one hit on Saturday.
I took the Monkey to High School Musical – Disney on Ice.
For those who do not have daughters, High School Musical is an American phenomenon – an annoying, painfully politically correct, over-acting, singing and dancing high school movie American phenomenon.
The Pink Mafia normally takes Monkey to these things but this time I had was dragged along kicking and screaming.
And it was a matinee so I couldn’t even get on the beers!
Five minutes into it I was wishing I was at home being violently ill.
IT WAS HORRENDOUS!
I tried to fall asleep but the music and singing was driving me INSANE!
I wanted to rip my ears off and eat them so I wouldn’t have to listen. But then what would I do about my eyes?
The Monkey kept asking me “Daddy why aren’t you clapping?” I couldn’t tell her the real reason so I just smiled at her through clenched teeth.
Worst part of the whole show – they finished with a big finale and the actors waved to everyone in the crowd.
THANK
FUCKING
GOD
THAT
IS
OVER!
And then the announcement that brought tears to my eyes.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, the High School Musical team will be taking a short break and then we’ll be back with the second half.”
OH FUCKING NO!!!!!
SECOND HALF!
FUCK NO!
About 40 minutes later the excruciating torture was over and I was the happiest man alive.
Like when the shark came at me back in January, I’ll be having nightmares about this for a long time to come…
posted by surfercam @ 9:05 am
8 Comments:
Cam, you just desribed what hell will be like. I love my children more than anything. They saw the ad on TV for the excrement that you sat through, looked at me with big blue, pleading eyes. Asked. I told them there was no way in any life, that I would expose them to that crap. They asked again, pleeeeease Mum. NO.
I will take my trophy for worlds worst,meanest mother on my way out, thank you.
This post makes a bloke glad he has only sons. And might explain why Mrs fitz acts a little crazy at times.
LMAO, pleasue and pain, they do go hand in hand sometimes
I feel complete sympathy for you.
I am a teenage girl (so I'm not at all biased here) and I have wished, on many occasions, for the chance to shoot every one of those High School Musical try-hards through through the vocal chords.
You poor bastard.
Aw, I love musicals and ice skating and American things and Celine Dion.
Shoot me now.
Jen - Yes, it was hell.
Mike - mmm sons would be good.
Caz - I guess so.
Nerdo - I'll help you out!
Magic - Yep.
Tabbie - I'll go get my gun.
You poor bastard.
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