When I was young and stupid - no not yesterday - but when I was about 16, I went out with this girl.
After only 1 week she dumped me because I was, and I quote, “too nice”.
SC : Too nice?
Girl : Yeah. We don’t argue or anything like that. There’s no conflict.
SC: But it’s only been a week!
Girl : “ ”
SC : Ok then, bye.
She was right, I am a nice guy, but I’m not that nice a guy.
And to prove it, what did I do?
Well, myself and a few mates were drunk one night and happen to be passing her house. So we stopped out the front, and abused her at the top of our drunken voices, calling her a slut and a bitch amongst many other colourful things.
A few days later I received a call.
Caller : Is that Cam?
SC : Yes.
Caller : It’s (girl’s) brother here, Matt.
SC : Oh yes *I wonder why he is calling*
Matt : The other night when you and your mates were out the front of my place calling my sister a slut and a bitch, we were all sitting down to a nice family dinner – me, my mum and dad, and even my grandmother was there.
SC : oh *please let me die*
Matt : We heard EVERYTHING!
SC : I’m so sorry about that we were drunk and it was stupid to….
Matt : Watch your back! *click*
It was about then that I remembered more about Matt – he was a few years older, a lot bigger and was expelled in Grade 10 for stealing a car! Yes Grade 10!
Luckily for me, I never heard from him or his sister again and that was the end of it.
A year later, I was leaving a unit during schoolies week when the lift doors opened up and I walked in.
And as I walked in, who should be in there – fucking Matt!
OH! FUCK! I was already in the lift and couldn’t back out.
I barely lifted my head and hid in the corner the whole way to the ground floor. It was the longest lift ride in my life!
“See ya mate,” Matt said as he got out, not realising who I was.
I was speechless. I ran to my car without stopping and drove home still scared shitless.
So, after 15 years, I would like to publicly apologise to the following family members :
- Girl I went out with
- Her Sister
- Her Brother
- Her Mother
- Her Father
- and of course, her beloved Grandmother.